Wear Sunscreen: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young.

June 1, 1997

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-
weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be
Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of
wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't
entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The
long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust
me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way
you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you
really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're
behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing
this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The
most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with
their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're
gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you
won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on
your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself
too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are
everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what
other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be
nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold
on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in
Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will
philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe
you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run
out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Mary Schmich

Food for Thought: Jaime Morrison Curtis

Source

There is no "man's work." You can change a tire, build a fire, take out the trash, invest your savings, fix the plumbing, and so forth. Now, if a nice man wants to help you with those things, and you want his help, by all means take it. You have nothing to prove; I just don't want you to count on a male human handling things for you that you are entirely capable of handling yourself. 

Remember that most fairy tales were written by men. Some of the greatest writers of children's fables were male: the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, even Walt Disney. You are not a tiny princess awaiting rescue by a valiant man, a symbol of frailty and naivete, or the punch line in a morality tale. The women in those stories were crafted by a different sex at a different time for a different audience; these days you slay the dragon yourself. 

You are more than a footnote in someone else's story. Don't be "the other woman." She's always a quick side note in the great saga of another couple's love. Cast yourself as the lead in your own life, please. 

Take yourself on dates.A delicious restaurant, a visit to a museum, a matinee -  you are your own best company. 

Being intelligent, beautiful, wealthy, talented, witty, or powerful is meaningless if you are not also kind. 

These and more in Prudent Advice.

Food for Thought: Maya Angelou

“Love life, engage in it, give it all you’ve got… because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it.” - Maya Angelou

Food for Thought: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Music: Common's "I Want You"

Vincent van Gogh, Starry Night on the Rhone

"Take a look at the moon, it reminds me of you / Hope the stars and the gods align me and you." - Common

Claude A. Rosier

I never thought my grandfather would die of natural causes. Apparently very few people did. As we called around to inform family and friends of his death, most people asked, “Who killed him,” rather than “how did he die.” I suppose I’m not surprised. Arrested in 1966 for his political views, my grandfather spent eleven years in prison, under both Papa Doc and Baby Doc. My mom was six years old when they took him away, my uncle Ilitch, a newborn. He was tortured and starved, but he lived to tell the world about it, publishing his memoir, Triangle de la Mort: Journal d’un Prisonnier Politique Haïtien 1966-1977, in 2003. Since his release, he has co-founded a non-profit organization for former political prisoners, friends and relatives of the disappeared, worked at L’Ecole Normale Supérieure in Haiti and tirelessly campaigned fought for human rights. This past January, upon the return of Baby Doc to Haiti, from exile, my grandfather and other former political prisoners officially pressed charges against the former dictator.

"The mistake of all dictators and apprentice dictators, despite the lessons of centuries of history, is their stubborn belief in violence as the best permanent solution to tame the masses.  If this were the case, Nero, Hitler, Mussolini, Duvalier, Prosper Avril, Cedras and all the others would have never known political failure. The masses, even those identified as backwards, can endure for a while the violence of others, but they always end up revolting and tearing to shreds the infernal machine that is dictatorship." - Claude Rosier

Ever since I could remember, everything I have done has been to please my grandfather. He was the one person in the world whom I loved without complexities and whose approval I always sought. He continuously encouraged me, giving me books, editing my poems and short stories, and fighting alongside me whenever I needed support. Although his death is a huge loss to our family, Haiti, and the global fight for human rights, I cannot say I am sad today. My grandfather did more in his lifetime for his fellow men and women then most people could ever do in several lifetimes. So no, I am not sad. Rather, I celebrate his life, his mission, and his legacy. I celebrate, for I know in my veins, flow the blood a hero. The many people he inspired will keep carry the torch. He will live through us, through me, through my life’s work and purpose. And as long as I live, I shall strive to make him proud.

Food for Thought: Riverbend

“We’ve learned that terrorism isn’t actually the act of creating terror. It isn’t the act of killing innocent people and frightening others… no, you see, that’s called a ‘liberation.’ […] The war on terror is a joke… Madrid was proof of that last week… Iraq is proof of that everyday. I hope someone feels safer, because we certainly don’t.” - Riverbend from Baghdad Burning: Girl Blog from Iraq. 

Food for Thought: Stuff No One Told Me

"Porn movies and Disney are responsible for the most frustrated human beings I know." - Alex Noriega

Also, if you get the chance, check out Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. I just finished it, it's rather interesting.

Food for Thought: Marilyn Sewell

"Women have gone within themselves to find their own sources of spiritual truth. We didn't have much of an alternative, really. Where were we to go for meaning, for identity? To books written with the assumption that the male perspective is also the human perspective? To the arts, where woman is pictured as Madonna, vigin, or whore? To the mass media where she is seen as an object for consumption?" Marilyn Sewell

Food for Thought: Rita Mae Brown

"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it." - Rita Mae Brown

For Colored Girls

This week I'm re-reading Ntozake Shange's choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf and My God, what a beautiful work of art! One of my favorite poems from the collection is "Toussaint." Being born and raised in Haiti, I am very proud of my cultural and historial heritage. To me, "Toussaint" is the love/thank you letter I wish I could write to Toussaint Louverture. I also really loved "No more love poems #1, 2, 3 and 4." "Sorry" is another favorite of mine. But "Somebody almost walked off wid alla my stuff" definitely stole my heart. So yeah, I'm practically in love with Ntozake Shange. I only wish she would come back to UF before I graduate so I can take a class with her... Fingers crossed.

Food for Thought: Rose Kennedy

, 

"Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?" - Rose Kennedy

Food for Thought: G. K. Chesterton

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." -- G. K. Chesterton

A Threat to Justice Everywhere

I am not sure why the strong insist on oppressing the weak. Tale as old as time. Whether it's in politics, business, religiously motivated, or militarily. Whether it's whites vs. blacks, men vs. women, adults vs. children, hetero vs. LGBTQ, liberals vs. conservatives, etc. The will of one or a few to acquire power always ends up tromping the rights and livelihood of the majority. And the world oftentimes sits back and pretends it is not happening, until it's too late. Maybe it's Darwinism - survival of the fittest - or maybe it's human nature. Either way, I do not know of any case when oppression has ever ended well for anyone. Dictators fall. Revolutions rise. Blood is shed. Lives are lost. No one wins. If only human beings would stop and open a history textbook; if only they would listen to their elders and learn about their history, world history, human history, maybe they would learn a thing or two about oppression, injustice, and hate. Maybe they would realize that there really is nothing to gain from it.

So tonight, heart goes out to the men and women around the world suffering from political and social oppression and fighting for their rights to be in: Egypt, Haiti, Tunisia, Israel/Palestine, Algeria, Yemen, Turkey, right here in the USA and elsewhere around the world. And to those of you reading this, remember, as Martin Luther King once said: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."